Vulnerability – 1.) capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon. 2.) Open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc. (Dictionary.com)
So…most of you are probably wondering where on earth does she plan on going with this? I mean, getting hit by a weapon? And who in the heck would be open to moral attack? No thanks, vulnerability can just go back to whatever demented place it came from. Well hopefully I will be able to explain exactly why being vulnerable is a good thing, and why it is absolutely essential to our walks with Christ.
A little over a year ago, I was in a relationship. I promise this is not going to turn into a sappy story about boyfriends past, so just bear with me. I was not in a good place. it was my first semester in college, and let me tell you, I had wedding fever! If you have not experienced this before, let me just say that the side effects include anything from dropping hints on your expected wedding date, to creating ten new Pinterest boards that depict all the gloriousness of décor and white dresses. It is truly tragic… After coming down from this fever, however, I discovered that there was a lot about my relationship that was just not there. I knew that the relationship was not what God had intended for me either.
Being the stubborn person that I am, I continued to date him thinking that I could somehow make it work, and that somehow all of the problems would just magically disappear. One day, after an argument that we had had the night before, we were sitting in my living room actually trying to talk out our issues. It was about half way through this conversation that I knew. I knew that this was the moment that God wanted me to end it, in fact I don’t think I have ever heard God’s voice as clearly as I did in that moment. So I listened.
As bad as it may sound, I was filled with relief. I knew I had made the right decision. Was I still sad? Yes, I had dated this guy for four years, and I knew that I had hurt him, which was the last thing that I wanted to do. The most important thing that I took from this experience, is that sometimes we just have to let some doors shut so that others can be opened. My reason for sharing this with you, is really for the feelings that I felt afterwards. Being in a relationship for that long, even when I knew that it was not the right one for me, left me fearing what would happen afterwards. I always had someone to laugh with, talk to when I got lonely, and even make me feel cared for. Therefore, the mere challenge of picturing myself without someone was hard, simply because I never had to be without. I was completely dependent on this foundation that was all wrong, because it was not God.
So why am I telling you this? Because I was afraid of being vulnerable. I was afraid of letting go of a relationship that was all wrong for me, because I knew that would mean having to face the unknown. You see, being vulnerable is actually one of the most important parts of our walks with Christ, because it allows us to be open to the possibilities that God has laid out so perfectly for us. By allowing yourself to be open, you are allowing the love of Christ to invade your heart and transform you in ways that you can only imagine.
From a woman’s perspective, some of you may be thinking that I am crazy. Vulnerability always leads to hurt right? If you look at the definition…yes. I am not talking about being physically vulnerable, in fact, I am not really talking about being emotionally vulnerable either. I am talking about spiritual vulnerability, or my definition, allowing yourself to be open to God in all ways, so that you are allowing him to shine through you. It is okay to be broken with God, because He is already familiar with the road ahead. It is okay to let your guard down with God, because He is the only One that can truly guard your heart in the first place. So my prayer for all of you is that you begin being vulnerable with God, and allow His grace to invade your heart and truly transform you.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.” ~Jeremiah 29:10-14